Saturday, February 7, 2015

the ration card dilemma

These days all the elder women in every household is discussing about one thing , renew your ration card, I am the card holder, the eldest female member of the house, bravo , more power to women. 

As always dizzy mom is quiet about his , are you asking why, its obvious na her older daughter is older to her as per the records. forgot the math 6+18+18 as she is with her younger Daughter these days. so joff uncle got confused is his daughter older or his wife. ooh such a confusion in life, kash i would have attended the school my wife went, aaj yeah din to dekhna padtha. 

what to do now run to the church to find out the real problem or light a candle to solve the whole issue and offer bribe , if i get the card renewed i will offer half of what the pds provide, so what does they provide. here it is .

Ration articles issued through Ration Shops in  January- 2015   : 

 APL Cardholder - 9Kg Rice  @  Rs 8.90/- and 1Kg Wheat @ Rs 6.70/- ,    

APL Subsidy Cardholder : 9Kg  Rice @Rs.2/- and 1Kg Wheat  @ Rs 6.70/-  ,

Both Subsidy and Nonsubsidy APL Cardholder  will get 2Kg  of Atta @ Rs 15/-.  

 BPL Cardholder:   25Kg of Rice @ Rs. 1/- and 5Kg Wheat @ Rs.2/-,   

AAY Cardholder : 35Kg of Rice @ Rs. 1/-.   

Both BPL  and  AAY Cardholder  get sugar @ Rs 13.50/- per Kg ( 400 g for each member ).    

ANNAPOORNA Cardholder :10 Kg of Rice at free of cost .   Kerosene :  4 Litre  Kerosene to Non Electrified household and  1 Litre  Kerosene to Electrified household @ Rs 18/ 17

ooh what is apl bpl , i rem my neighbour had one TV names BPL, would ask them or what. no you should not tell them , until the date is over we should not give a clue that the ration card renewal is in progress, it would be fun if they don't get it on time. 

in case will anybody come to know what category they are in. of course nothing there is less than a crore so its obvious in above poverty line.  let me tell you even they are mentioning every thing in crores they don't know what a Income tax is ,  voh kaya hondi. 

yeah i had to tell you that joff uncle is always green to save on electricity he boils water from the debris and litter in his compound, how innovative. truly too much it take so much time and effort but the whole process you would fell effortless as the tenant lady will give company to him all the time. you know after all humans are social animals, studied in school right?

so which category will dizzy mom be, how to solve this dilemma. oh this is serious than infinity theorem.  

the egg came first or chicken, who is older the daughter or her mother.  ok let solve the problem , all you need to give pure and genuine information to the government , its our duty.

only proof of dizziy moms age is her election id card in which she is 44 years old. but that does not have a date of birth.  

election card issued on 2000 , so 44 + 15 is 59. bravo got an answer. hey hey wait give proof.

the officer asked is there any aadhar card, yes sir, so check the dob in that, it says 43. 
obviously she was with her younger daughter that time 6+18+18 , simple math. 

ok do you have any other proof of identification, my elder daughter have a driving licence , you know she drives from age of 16. k now again calculate age. you know na how to , so just do it.

got one solid proof , joff uncle was born in a leap year, so what age is he now , 61 just 2 years older to me. so that means he is in 1954 but its not a leap year. 

oh my God what all to solve for 2 kg of atta. is it worth it. will dizzy mom prove that she is the elder one in the house, will she able to solve the officers dilemma?? wait and see. 

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Some economic lessons from the other side

I am no MBA student or otherwise , but i am an economics student all my life, its from the day I knew Manmohan singh much into economics that i can totally relate to the 'ananya" of two states how should you represent each and every curve in a mathematical model. who does not know about the demand supply curve. when demand increases its have a direct effect on supply. well well I studied all those long before, its time to apply all those laws.
Its about my neighbour Mrs dizzy mummy as I her grand kids call her and Joff uncle and i like to call him. the only thing that is less in their life is age and the waist line every other ting is said in the multiples of 1000 and in crores, when i started knowing her in my early teens its was in 100 and lakhs , now due to lot of market variations its now in crores. I dont know its simple or complicated that you have to decide. she has two daughters with an age gap of 10 years, both married and never get to see them together. when dizzy mom is roaming around wit the elder daughter the math of her age goes like this
18+18+18 as the age of the grand kid is 18 as of now. age you do the addition. and when she is with the younger girl the age is calculated as 6+18+18. as her daughter is 6 yeas of age. now tell simple na .

she is marvelled of her astonishment to our curiosity. don't make your face now as you don't know the basis of math, math is the most abstract of sciences. why you all a zero a zero or why you believe that one plus one is two. if you believe and teach and punish your kids if they get it wrong then think again. y are you following this , because its abstract its said so , it is so , ans will be so, and you follow as such. then why complain about the theory of dizzy mom. you can start afresh like her math too, dynamic math subjected to present variables.

oh god what i wanted to say is the study of market investment with her. every body says that wealth creation is so totally different from money creation.  long term investment and short term goals. now got it right?
 she believe in long term and short term and mid cap, and high on spot trading. she invite us for the Easter lunch expecting the return from onam sadya. she did try her luck a few years then she thought its not a viable investment, as for Easter she has to serve fish and mutton and chicken, and in return she gets aviyal and sambar, payasam is no perk as she is diabetic. did some spot exchange with plates on which ipo is there. like she plates the fish fry , fish could be big or small. if the neighbours are seated against the big fish she has to trade the plate with the blood relative on board. see long term investment, even though she know that i would be flushed out the next morning.

the most valuable commodity that she trades is the jack fruit. why because she knows the neighbour has two mango trees , its a mid term investment and a bit risky one. but she does it as sometimes there is huge returns. this year too she invested one small jack fruit. but not only her investment sink she has to trade her mangoes or should say one mango. and some free advise to pluck our mangoes before time as joff uncle would be going to meet his daughter this Feb.

markets are subject to risk and that too unexpected ones, as dizzy mom pour water to boil her coconut water to boil and forgot about it. the neighbours say fumes coming from her kitchen and informed her about it. she ran to put of f the fire and returned with 200 grms of jack fruit fry. for us its an unexpected return, for her a lesson for long term investment on valuable relations.

moral of the story, do invest in shares that have a regular return, for wealth creation go for long term investments, don't do spot trading its makes a dabba on valuable shares. daag hamesha acha nahim hota.

invest , do invest in long term as its return is high on everything in life.

Saturday, January 31, 2015

the great Indian traditions

Its been in the back of my mind , to speak out or not to. most of the time i keep quiet. sound good na , but not all true.
I mean what shall i talk about if no one is willing to listen to me, or am i talking all bull shit. its nice to take the stand of your own but think is it ever possible to break free, one or the other strings will catch you.

you don't believe how much my mom has paid to listen to the astrologers, ever time they would say sure this Aug or next Nov , she will be so happy God knows for what. at least ask the person who she is dong this for. but no never . hope is one tag that attached to every Indian , even watching a cricket match every indin has the hope till the last ball that India is going to make it , does not matter what the scores are I mean 100 from 6 balls too the hope will be there.

I have no clue what the trick of Aug and Nov for Indian weddings, how many of them tie the knot these two months. have to think that the golden time foe pundits and astrologers. worse would be to travel to Goa or kovalam after these months. Can you imagine the whole of north Indian couples would be flocking holding hands sticking , clinching and all sort of gestures. easy to identify as there would be chooda wearing hands.
honeymoon packages and Goa so in in India. what a season. seen bathing in the sun wearing salwar kammes and chooda all the time, thanks na not wearing bikini and chooda. what a sight it would have been.

guys would be embarrassed no na? proud would be as that how traditional is his wife. and if its kovalam the would move away from salwar and go with the tight fitting tunic and chooda. its a odd sight but every Indian mom in law would be proud .

and for mallu couples , going for a honeymoon to Goa , the man would think why on earth did i choose this place for honeymoon , how can i impress my new wife by not drinking, even though his eye balls would pop out in each and every corner of Goa. will be holding hands with the new found energy by surely planning for next visit to goa with friends so that he could get some relief from the bar deal of kerala. poor guys.

some times its confusing what the tradition is , to have a taste of fenny or to be with the wife.  holding hands just like the dona paula statue.